It’s women’s day, a day when you love, admire and praise women. Doesn’t anyone else think women are stupid? I mean they just settled for one day of happiness per year. I think even slaves get more work-offs. If it was me I would ask for at least 3 months off. In fact I’ve just put in a request for 3 months of leave every 4 months to my boss. This will keep me at my creative best and will bring the company huge profits. But let’s not digress. This article isn’t about me, it’s about women. .....read more...

Fucked over by the mighty CAT. Use the following to save your skin.
1. I am trying my luck at IIPM. The IIMs were just back-ups.
2. Due to the fuck ups by Prometric this was the easiest CAT ever. If I cleared this and entered IIM I would never be able to look at myself in the mirror. When CAT goes back to its previous standards then I’ll bell it. !.....read more...

Children are the minions of Satan. They are pure evil. If this not true then what could explain the fact that children start with their Holi celebration one week before the bloody festival starts. These tiny sadistic pricks pick on innocent strollers like me and bomb me with their stupid water balloons for some sick pleasure that they get. Frankly, I don’t mind if children spend Holi pissing over each other as long as they kept me out of their celebrations. I’ve nothing to celebrate; leave me alone!.....read more...

Lately there has been a lot of “Save the Tigers” bullshit going around. But what I want to know is ‘why do we want to save the motherfucking tigers?’ How is it gonna change anyone’s life? Lunch at my goddamn workplace is going to suck even if there are 10,000 tigers alive. Without tigers, the only difference is you can walk through any forest you want without fear. I guess I’m the only one who wants to live life without fear. Why don’t we save the terrorists as well? I bet they are low in numbers.......read more...

Haven’t written a word in five months (apart from some kickass fiction writing for B-school SOPs), but it took only a solitary glance at one of the biggest scumbags to have walked this earth to get me back and barking. But before I reveal the name of this man who makes SPS RatWhore appear as innocent as a 14 year old virgin, let’s indulge in a little case study......read more...

To put an end to Shiv Sena’s constant media attention seeking acts the Maharashtra government has decided to give in to all their demands. The following will be implemented.

1. My Name is Khan will be banned. Shahrukh Khan will be forced to apologize and then deported.
2. Tendulkar will be forced to apologize and then disqualified from cricket since he decided to give his opinions.......read more...

Hundreds of bookies across Mumbai cried foul after the Bal Thackeray led Shiv Sena suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of Rahul Gandhi. The faceoff between the two powerhouses was touted as the match of the year but failed to live up to its grand expectations. The day started splendidly with the temperature and humidity both ideal for a feisty contest. Sadly, the much feared Shiv Sainiks just did not show up for the contest. Hundreds of spectators gathered on the streets amidst tight police security returned home with a dejected look on their face......read more...

Does anyone have an answer to this? Anyone? The entire show looks like an hour long toothpaste commercial. The show has around 15 females perpetually grinning. I guess this is what you get when you put so many females on T.V. They are either sobbing their eyeballs to oblivion or are grinning like dimwits. We need an upper limit on the number of females on T.V. Somewhere between zero and -1.....read more...

The year 2032. The Whines of India, the country’s leading newspaper, feels it’s that time of the year to revive our age-old tradition of tolerance & non-violence, and invite our dear neighbor Pakistan over for a peaceful dialogue using a new money-making, oops, confidence-building exercise called Aman ki Asha......read more...

In what can only be described as a dramatic turn of events, captured Pakistani terrorist Amir Kasab has applied for Indian citizenship under Section 6 of the Indian Citizenship Act i.e. Citizenship of India by naturalization. Kasab who reportedly had been keeping a close eye on the various ongoing court cases in India issued a calculated statement to the press. "From what I have observed during the past one year, Indians are a patient lot and in no hurry to end their legal battles.....read more...

The Times of India published an article (I’ve left a link to it below) about some research conducted by Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society. I went to online and found out the translation for ‘Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society’ is ‘I’m not getting laid so none of you guys should get some either’. The research stated the following: “Boys who see pornography are more likely to harass girls and indulge in casual sex, a new study has found.” (Pornography here means x-rated movie and clips)......read more...

Following the ump’teen’ th successful suicide in the secondary education age group, the government of India has decided to set aside a quota for S.S.C suicidals. Government’s spokesperson on the issue, Prabal Prachari, said “After minimum deliberation the government has concluded that committing suicides is a far truer vocation for most of our teenagers than any of the existing curricula.” The anticipated announcement revealed a quota of 34.99% almost as an acknowledgement of the almost passing percentage (35) a suicide exponent makes his last association with.....read more...

I attended a funeral recently and to be honest I had gone with this preconceived notion that it was going to suck big time! What I realized that day is any event (even something as morbid as a funeral) where a bunch of Indians gather and socialize can be anything but boring, you just need to look at the right places. Below is a list of people (generalization) who made my funeral-stay a relatively pleasant experience (in no particular order)..... read more...

We’ve always catered to the B-grade movie audience and some might argue ‘WTF this is not a B-grade movie.” I agree this is a mainstream movie but if it deserved a grade it would be somewhere between Z-grade and ‘a yet to be discovered alphabet’-grade.
Firstly, there have been many great writers. Uday Chopra isn’t one of them. All writing material such as pencils, pens and keyboards should be confiscated from him. In fact here’s a list of writers who can do a better work than Uday:..... read more...

It all began on 21st January, 2010. The Maharastra government was in the process of enacting a law that would provide ‘the best job’ for the local populace -- the job of a taxi driver. The law stated that you had to reside in Maharashtra for at least 15 years and you needed to speak, read and write Marathi fluently inorder to be a taxi driver....... read more...

Andhra Pradesh has been in the NEWS lately for a lot of reasons. Firstly, the Telangana saga which involved the national pastime - bus burning - which both the pro as well the anti telangana parties took part in heartily. But while few were spreading hate, "the man" Narayan Dutt Tiwari was spreading love (and extraneous things) with 3 women.
Now, most men find it hard to get a single girl. At age 84 NDT is in bed with three. This is what makes him NDT - the man, the legend. Sadly, people didn't notice the plus points in this incident which I'll highlight since I'm currently ‘Optimistic Leo’!...... read more...

82 year old Hansaben Ghansukhia had just created her first social networking account on the famous social networking website called facebook. Little did she know that her maiden attempt at online socializing would cost her her life. Hansaben, who suffered from colour blindness, was depressed because she was unable to contribute to the ongoing facebook 'bra-colour revolution' which according to a group of ingenious-out-of-work-net-savvy-women is most likely the last efficient way of spreading breast cancer awareness! As the status updates on her profile started covering the entire colour spectrum, Hansaben, unable to bear the apparent-shame anymore, took the drastic step...... read more...

I would like to thank all women for completely destroying the age-old debate of ‘which sex is smarter’. Women lost this debate tops down when they posted their bra colors as status messages on Facebook. I’ve always been pro-bra-coloring-posting but the ‘reason’ - in this case – is ludicrous. The reason was to raise awareness for breast cancer. I guess ladies out there are quite unaware of what is raised when bra colors are posted or mentioned...... read more...

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Varun Gandhi - The Traveller Of Time

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Holy Shit

BigFish Revelation – Military And You

An Idiot's Guide To Why GOD Is Not So Great

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The Indian Prisoner League(IPL) Auction

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Love: Humanity's greatest hope

Love: Humanity's Greatest Hope II

10 Facts About Mithunda (Prabuji)

The Hazard of Oz

The Magician

Just Pondering

Pain

Wrong Things To Say

Barter

Robotic Predicament

A Feeling

Just A Thought

Accident 3

Inseparable

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