In what can only be described as a dramatic turn of events, captured Pakistani terrorist Amir Kasab has applied for Indian citizenship under Section 6 of the Indian Citizenship Act i.e. Citizenship of India by naturalization. Kasab who reportedly had been keeping a close eye on the various ongoing court cases in India issued a calculated statement to the press. "From what I have observed during the past one year, Indians are a patient lot and in no hurry to end their legal battles. As a matter of fact the more blatant the crime and the more indisputable the criminal, the longer the length of the trial. Since I was photographed with an assault rifle near the Taj Mahal hotel on the night of the attack my case is practically watertight and therefore can take anything between 25-30 years to come to a conclusion." In support of his statement Kasab cited the fact that the Lieberhan Commision took 17 years just to table the reports.
On being questioned why he had chosen India, Kasab said, "I have been treated really well by the Mumbai police. I have heard that the SRPF guards selected to safeguard the Taj and Oberoi have to sleep on the footpath near the Gateway of India whereas I have been accomodated in this specially built and relatively cozy cell. The food is not bad either and reminds me of maa ka khaana from back home", claims Kasab wiping tears from his eyes as emotions get the better of him. "In Pakistan, I was a petty thief neglected by the awaam. Here in India everyone knows me. It's true that I have been portrayed in a bad light but given how fickle the Indian media is there is nothing a visit to a terminally-ill cancer patient or a school for the mentally challenged can't fix. Also, I need to find a way to repay the Maharashtra Government which has allegedly spent Rs 8.5 lakh per day to keep me alive and swell. If I return back to Pakistan, my conscience will prick me and I will never be able to return to India for another attack."
Kasab who has been in police custody for more than a year now says that he is better suited to the Mumbai climate and would want to continue residing in Mumbai -- even if acquitted on all the charges. He claims that he can speak fluent Marathi and will definitely complete the mandatory 15 years in Maharashtra by the time his case is through. In fact, he already considers himself a future son of the soil. He has also gone on record stating that he has taken to Mumbai like a Al Qaeda recruit to a Kalashnikov and given the opportunity would like to find a solution to the migrating bhaiyya population menace -- which he considers very serious. The Maharashtra government has decided to tackle the issue with great care. Said a spokesperson for the government on the condition of anonymity, "we have already incited the Pakistanis by not bidding for any of their players during the IPL 3 auction. If we decide to blatantly refuse Kasab citizenship it would reflect poorly and cause further friction between the nations". The Pakistani authorities were unavailable for comments.
Wasim Kadak,
BigFish News.
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Reply #1 on : Thu January 28, 2010, 23:31:53