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About Me:
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I am a simple, cool, god-fearing man who is the president of a hindu fundamentalist orgy by accident.
Yes! That's right. I just gone to that Amnesia pub with some friends to dance to 'pappu can't dance saala' and hopefully get action just like pappu. I have some lady-killer dance moves. Infact, I identify with pappu on many different levels, but that not the point. I always want to go to pub, but me too shy to do so until one day, punditjee tell me he going there this evening and I can come along.
So I wear my best lungi, and gorge on the linseed oil for that perfect side partition and i wear same shirt I wear on my IITentrance day. It has always been my lucky shirt, and I really want to get lucky that day!
So, there I am, with punditjee, waiting in line, when the door bitch looks at me and says,
'Nariyal delivery in the loading alley,appa!'.
'NO! I am here to party', I say . And then she starts laughing, I thought I unknowingly crack one of my stock nariyal jokes coz' her reaction exactly like what I imagine girl's reaction to be. But what she say next having me very confused. She say,
'Sorry, No stags today' and I am like,
'Yes, yes I know but I am human being, though area friends do call me 'pig' and 'donkey', but no 'stag' ever. We call Ramalinga that after how he run with people's money.'
Now she laughing again and I starting to live last night's wet dream, so I try for pick-up line, just like they say on that 'Loveline' show on MTV. I say,
'You have beautiful eyes dear, like that of a cat. When I look into them, all I think is 'pussy'.' And after that, I don't know what happen to her but she get very angry and leap on me and start slapping me. I think she horny.
But I don't like my friends see her up-skirt. So I reach down to her skirt to pull it down and cover her up. But she start screaming, 'Molester! Molester!’. I wonder what animal she calling me now. I think she like it wild, so I continue.
Very soon, lot of women come and start beating me and my friends. My friends also simple men. They also, inspired by my luck with door bitch try and become 'molester'. Very soon, we grapple with women trying spanking and enjoying BDSM (Bondage, Slavery, Sadism& Masochism). But they still not content, scream for more. These liberated women I tell you!!
Very soon media arrive and blame us for assaulting women and beating them.
These media scavengers I tell you.
I afraid of landing up in jail, but punditjee tell me to say we did what we did to protest against pub-culture and then blabber mumbo-jumbo using words 'vulgar', 'Indian culture' and 'exhibitionism'. I say what punditjee tell, and suddenly, I am leader of fundamentalist group and get box of pink, lacy panties as Valentine’s Day gift from 2000 women.
It's that shirt, I tell you!
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Posts: 2
Reply #2 on : Mon June 22, 2009, 04:19:45