Here are the 7 deadly sins that were witnessed on Roadies:
- Stupidity
- Stupidity
- Stupidity
- Stupidity
- Stupidity
- Stupidity
- Stupidity
Now, I know I’ve not seen Roadies because MTV is famous for serving a huge pile of bullshit with fries on the side. I know I shouldn’t be shooting my mouth off but I was left uncorrected when Rasool described an episode to me in the company of Salim and ManBearPig. In this episode, three roadie contestants had to eat goat’s testicles and drink goat’s blood. Yeah, you got that right, EAT GOAT’S TESTICLES A.K.A ‘GOAT ka GOTA’.
I’m going to ignore the goat’s blood part because once you put ‘testicles’ in a sentence and you precede it with an animal’s name, the discussion has to be shift towards the animal and its respective testicles. To top it up, if you mention anything remotely related to consumption of the aforementioned animal’s testicles, immediate attention must be granted. And goddamnit, I shall give it my immediate attention!
I’m a guy who’s whacked in the head but at no point of my life did I ever come near the thought of devouring the balls of a goat. Neither could I find a justifiable reason to chomp on a goat’s testicle, let alone testicles. The closest relationship I can have with a goat would be that of patting him somewhere near his head. Notice how far the head is from the testicles. Imagine this distance. That’s the minimum distance I keep between a goat’s testicle and parts of my body, both public and private. It’s a self imposed restriction order.
But the deed has been committed and the testicles have been eaten. So, let’s get down (yeah, see that pun? I’m a fucking genius) and discuss the intricate details of enjoying the culinary cuisine that is goat’s testicles. I hope I’m not the only one who believes munching away on goat’s testicles is ½ bestiality (since goat is an animal), ½ homosexuality (since the contestants where male and the object was a testicle) and ½ necrophilia (since the goat was dead. Live goat’s testicle eating will be the highlight of next season). We’ll call this - Bestomocrophilia.
This act may change the face of reality TV as well as the lower side of animals… forever. What started with just consumption of goat’s testicles could lead to fondling of lion's testicles, kissing grizzly bears, fornicating with elephants and having mating orgies with penguins. The perfect show for a family with the combined IQ of 4 (Hum do humare do).
The contestants did eat the goat’s testicle and guzzled it down with some fresh goat’s blood but here’s a fictional account of one contestant who chickened away from this goat-testicle eating feat.
Contestant: “I’m sorry, I’m not jackass badass enough to eat a goat’s testicles”
The Host (screaming with rage and disgust): “You are out of this show. There is no place for a non goat testicle eating loser like you. YOU SUCK! You are not stupid enough to win this show.”
Contestant: *FML* (Fuck My Life)
With his head hanging lower than a goat’s testicle the contestant travels all the way home. When he meets his parents, his father looks at him in disgust. He quickly embraces his mother and the two sob together.
His father turns his back and says, “Did I raise you to be a non-goat testicle eater? After all I’ve done for you, is this how you repay me? My head is hanging lower than a goat’s testicle because of your cowardly exit. You’ve brought this family shame. Neighbours, relatives, friends and goat’s testicles will mock me for the rest of my life.
The contestant continues to sob, his mother wiping his tears, “Don’t be so hard on him. He’s just a boy. I’m sure the circumstances where tough. Next time he gets an opportunity, he’ll be the first to eat them and then ask for more.”
The contestant, “I’m sorry papa.”
The father says, “It’s too late for that. You can’t stay here anymore.” And he throws him out of the house.
The End!
Note: I’ve a penchant for writing articles without confirming facts or researching.
PS: This article was inspired by the Rasool, Salim and ManBearPig. I don’t remember who said what so I’ll take credit for all the funny parts.
PPS: Salim, “Gote muh main ageye” (Hindi for he got his balls in his mouth).
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Reply #51 on : Sun March 21, 2010, 08:30:20