One question that really pisses me off is ‘what are your weaknesses?’ Why would I want to reveal my weaknesses? And what makes you think I’ve a weakness, let alone weaknesses? Can’t I be perfection personified? Every time I answer this question with, “Nothing. I’ve no weaknesses.” They give me a look of bemused disillusionment and they say “Nothing? Sure?” What is that supposed to mean? Am I supposed to have at least one weakness? Will you not hire me otherwise? Is this some company policy? I’m sorry Mr. DaPinchy we only hire people with weakness. We can’t take people who have no flaws. We are more interested in people who are good but do have something lacking. Thank you for your time.

Then they start to probe a little, “Are you sure you have nothing?” and they ask it in a very accusing way. Probably, if I say no at this point they’ll run a background check on me, find my weaknesses and then showcase it for the entire world to see while pointing and laughing. So I give in and list my weaknesses.

1. I freely let air escape my orifices.
2. I don’t iron my clothes.
3. I crack raunchy jokes.
4. I hate working.

Following which they don’t hire me. If you didn’t want to hear then why did you ask me? What happened to appreciating honesty? Assholes!

For those who don’t know it, the most appropriate answer to ‘what are your weaknesses?’ is – I’m a workaholic. If I was the interviewer I’d hire every motherfucker who said this and make him work 24 hours. You’re workaholic? Good job asshole! Do my work as well.

But this is not how interviewers react. They love this answer because it shows that the interviewee is a dumb, unable to think for himself, conformist who can be manipulated to do whatever the company wishes. This guy gets selected.   

So what’s the secret to clearing HR interviews? You need only one talent - the ability to bullshit. Lie as much as you can. Having good grades is a plus point because good grades are synonymous to clear understanding and practical application of concepts. Grades have nothing to do with rote learning,

Write a comment

Anonymous
Posts: 9

Re: Leo's Ultimate Guide to Clearing HR Interviews Part I
Reply #9 on : Thu March 25, 2010, 21:28:02

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‘what are your weakness?’ is – I’m a workaholic.
good one!!

djd
Posts: 9

Re: Leo's Ultimate Guide to Clearing HR Interviews Part I
Reply #8 on : Fri March 26, 2010, 02:28:40

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h@h@h@ lol iam gonna clear any interview any more :D

V12
Posts: 9

Re: Leo's Ultimate Guide to Clearing HR Interviews Part I
Reply #7 on : Fri March 26, 2010, 03:28:23

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true true true... hahaha...

Anonymous
Posts: 9

Re: Leo's Ultimate Guide to Clearing HR Interviews Part I
Reply #6 on : Fri March 26, 2010, 05:15:01

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I think this is quite an old fuckin joke...
amd why wouldnt they want dumb fuck conformist, thats how the system works...

Intelligent people are generally Jobless.... I keep myself jobless for some amount of time just to keep my brain juices intact...I hope the Logic is flowing...

Infact recession was good for all

Leo
Posts: 9

Re: Leo's Ultimate Guide to Clearing HR Interviews Part I
Reply #5 on : Fri March 26, 2010, 06:43:23

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@ anon1

Lol that sentence had a grammatical error in it. I corrected it now :D

@ djd

If you clear any interview because of this I'll be more than happy.

@ V12

Glad you liked it. You've become a regular reader.

@ anon 2

I got plagiarized before I even wrote this article! I've never heard this before. It was just something that bothered me a lot.

And I know unemployement kicks ass. I had a year and a half of unemployement and it was brilliant. Recession was good too because is spawned this site. The internet is a better place now.