housefull movie download Before you read this article, read the unintentionally hilarious news article in Hindustan Times.

When I saw the title of this article, I thought the article would begin with, ‘Don’t waste your time downloading this movie. It sucks.’ Isn’t that what newspapers should do, warn you against anything that can harm you? But Hindustan Times wanted to hurt my fucking intelligence instead. Despite this article being a laugh-riot, I’m going to go ahead and rip this article apart since I’m so fucking pissed.

>>Thinking of downloading Housefull from the internet for a free view?

Free view? FUCK YOU! Who do you think is paying for my internet connection? And with an internet connection of 256 kbps, it takes an entire night to download a movie. A whole goddamn night! This costs electricity and I’ve to deal with the constant bickering of my parents because I left the damn comp switched on all night. Not to mention that this download time could have been better utilized in downloading porn.

>>Beware! Director Sajid Khan says he has used an anti-piracy software to make sure there are no illegal downloads of the film.

What the fuck is illegal downloads of the film? Is Director Sajid Khan okay with legal downloads of the film? And dear director, if you want to be assured that no one downloads your movie, how about making a movie that has no plot and shitty actors?…. Oh wait you did that. Frankly speaking, you don’t need a software to make sure that no one downloads your movie. If I were into selling pirated movies, I’d open a stall selling CDs of Janni Dushman. Pirating your movie seems like a loss-making venture.

>>Sajid said that Housefull has used an anti-piracy and corruption software called Republique to avoid illegal downloading on the Internet.

>>illegal downloading on the Internet.

Where else you gonna download from? ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!

>>"If anyone tries downloading it, not only will the files get corrupted but their IP address too will pop up and they will be prosecuted with all charges against them as per the anti-piracy law," he said.

ZOMG! Not only will my files be corrupted but IP address will pop up as well. Fuck! Imagine the horror when I see my own IP address with my own eyes on the own monitor. Oh, God! Did the universe just explode? Did I just shit my heart out with fear? It takes two lines of code to make an IP address pop up. That’s it! Don’t believe me, Click this.
Just for you information, something that corrupts a file is called a virus. Which I think our dear director is going to personally upload to Rapidshare along with his movie. He’ll also be seeding the torrent to this movie to make sure people will only download the infected file.

>>"We even have a call centre in Mumbai with 35 people on board monitoring the illegal downloading of the film.We've tested the process too and it worked wonders in five seconds," he added.

Wow! You found someone to download the file within five seconds? I think this maybe your greatest accomplishment. And what the bleeding fuck are call centre guys monitoring illegal downloading for? Aren’t call centre people supposed to make and receive calls? And you’ve 35 people on board? Excellent! I can see how 35 people will monitor 51,750,000 which was the number of internet users in India (this was 2 years back). Dear director, you know jack shit about the internet and you suck at math as well.

>>Sajid was here at the DT Cinemas, DLF Promenade Tuesday evening to promote Housefull. Also present with him was the star cast of the movie including Akshay Kumar, Riteish Deshmukh, Arjun Rampal, Deepika Padukone and Jiah Khan.

Lara Dutta who also plays a pivotal role in the movie did not make it to the event. Releasing Friday, the movie has been produced by Sajid Nadiadwala.

Oh look! Is it a news article? Is it an advertisement? You decide.

PS: if you don’t want people to watch this movie at in the comfort of their houses, why did you name it HOUSEfull?

PPS: This article is just meant to scare of people stupid enough to believe this, which is exactly the target audience for Housefull.

PPPS: Also, check this Plagiarism, Lies and Videotape.

PPPPS: The Housefull trailer.