Parents are bullies. Parents since they are more in number and elder in age demand the obedience of their child. If a child doesn’t obey, he’s threatened with violence. A child is forced to do degrading tasks such as making his bed, cleaning his room and sometimes even washing his dishes. Also, giving out allowances based on the amount of household chores completed is child labor in disguise. Who knows, they might send you to a cigarette making factory to earn that allowance which you deserve.
The worst thing is that these mothers and fathers think they own you. Did you ask to be born? No! It was their choice. You’ve signed no contract. In fact you were not present when the decision to have you took place. You’re not obliged to anything. If you want to come home late reeking of alcohol and end up collapsing on the floor, it’s your decision and they can’t stop you.
And why do they think they own you? Just because some woman carried you around for 9 months and then had to shoot you out of her, after going through some labor pain (I think labor pain is a myth like Santa Claus), doesn’t mean she can boss you around for your entire life. Can’t anyone see the inaccurate time equation, 9 months of efforts and you are a slave for life. I’m not falling for that.
If this woman expects anything in exchange for this miracle called birth, the maximum compensation permitted is around Rs. 20,000 multiplied by nine (nine being the number of months in pregnancy). If you were delivered early, she gets nothing. She has no right to evict you before 9 months. Sue her.
If her performance during the pregnancy period was good - by good I mean consuming healthy food, no smoking or drinking - you may give her a bonus of Rs. 15,000 and a pat on her back. If you are feeling magnanimous you can add a movie and an amusement park ticket and an eat all you can buffet. Anything more than that is not required and will delude her into believing that you care for her which you really don’t want.
Also, if you are the first born, you may per her only Rs. 10,800 per month since she’ll be considered as a fresher. Freshers don’t deserve to be paid high, even if they are performing above par. Freshers are unskilled and may commit unprofessional acts such as not having their lips perpetually connected to their manager’s hairy black ass.
Moving onto fathers, they don’t deserve any payment as their part was all pleasure and no pain. If you do pay him you are technically calling him a prostitute since you are paying him for sex. You may give him an appreciation hug for not splattering you all over the bathroom floor instead. Nothing more than that!
Remember when you were fighting for dear life against million sperms, he was lying on his back all tired and exhausted hoping to avoiding any conversation and get some sleep. He wasn’t there egging you on. He never said, “You see that sperm. The 645297 one from the left, I want that sperm to win”. Who pays the person who wasn’t there to give you moral support during the most important struggle of life? If he was not there for you during your sperm war, you think he would be able to help you battle exam stress, woman trouble and work stress? You want to pay that guy? I don’t think so.
PS: If you were offended by this article please read this: A Positive Article
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Posts: 34
Reply #42 on : Tue May 11, 2010, 04:47:26