Rains sucks! I can’t stay at home because it’s boring. I can’t go out because I’ll get wet. I hate getting wet. I hate it so much that if I were a female I would have a dry cunt 24/7.
But there are people who say, “I love to get wet in the rains.” Get a shower, asshole. It’s the same thing and you can control the flow. You can even decide what skirt you want to wear while getting drenched (skirt as only women love to get wet in the rains (Strangely, they don’t like to get wet otherwise)). Out of spite, I’ve decided to wake up early every morning and wait for these rainphiles, the ones who like to dance and get wet in the rain, to pass under my balcony. As soon they are below me, I’ll empty a bucket of water on them. If they want to get wet, I’ll give them what they want... 365 days a year. On random occasions such as Bank holidays, Independence Day, Christmas I’ll throw ice cubes out of generosity. Ice is just like water except in the solid state and if you enjoy water droplets it is mandatory to enjoy falling ice cubes aimed at you. If you don’t you are a racist. If it hurts, tough shit!
Well, I guess it’s decided. I’m going to be soaking people around the year with the occasional pelting by ice cubes. When the rain comes around next year they’ll all hate it just like me because they’ll realize that getting wet sucks.
But seriously, I never thought tiny droplets of water falling from the sky could piss me off but they do. Why? We’ve just been through four months of scorching heat. My face is now darker than my ass and what do I get in remuneration? Droplets from the sky? And we’ll have 4 months of it. At least the Jews got manna. I’m not impressed. I’ve been sitting at my workplace willingly overtime only because it’s has a centralized AC.
Speaking of my workplace, things are real nice. By nice I mean having a cactus shoved in my anus. I received my salary a day later and 200 bucks lesser. You know when you give someone their due cash after the due date you are supposed to pay them extra? Haven’t these guys learnt about the concept of interest? It’s like these guys imposed a fine on me for paying me late. It’s not just me. It’s quite a lot of people but the important part is it has happened to me. But no one wants to discuss it. You mention it and they tip-toe around it like a ballet dancer on crack or any other drug that makes you move faster than normal. Actually, I’ve never mentioned it. But I know if I do they’ll tip-toe around it like a ballet dancer on crack or any other drug that makes you move faster than normal. Fuck the ten foot pole. These guys won’t touch this topic with an 11 foot pole. That is not much of an exaggeration but you get the point, right?
I don’t want to mention this to my manager because it would involve the unpleasant activity of talking with him which mostly ends with pat on my back and a “Good job”. What’s 'good job'? With a description so vague, people look at me from the corner of their eyes wondering if I’m surreptitiously sucking the guy off. ARRRGGGGHHHH! I can still hear it in my head. And what kind of company pays people in ‘pats’? Why can’t they pay me in local currency like other normal companies? I once went to a restaurant and ordered the most expensive dish. When the time came to pay my bill, I patted the waiter on his back and said “Good job”. I had to cough out extra cash because he accused me of molestation. Bottom-line, if you are looking for one, I can’t exchange your pats for anything! Don’t give me pats!
Nonetheless, it’s not that bad because things are improving for the worse. They recently hired more people because I think it was difficult being the ‘second best in employee satisfaction’ while being simultaneously understaffed and underpaying. They hired like a dozen but none of them are smoking hot babes. Why hire them? The first time I saw them I thought, “Man these are some ugly ass females (Ass is a synecdoche). So ugly they look like men… and not good-looking men either. I’m talking about ugly looking men. Then I realized that they were (are?) men. Who hires men? Why can’t we have like an 80% hot babe reservation? There are few of them and they deserve attention and privileges. I don’t want ugly looking females. If I wanted things I wouldn’t want to have a conversation with, let alone reproduce, I would befriend more guys. Leo, why are you so shallow? Huh? Why are you so ugly? It’s your fault don’t push the blame on me. The least you can do is be good-looking else leave me alone. I don’t believe I’ll have to sit at work with these guys and thanks to the rains I’m going to be wet.
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Posts: 42
Reply #44 on : Sun June 06, 2010, 04:11:25