I’ve had it with getting rejected by these auto rickshaw wallas. They have countless ridiculous reasons to reject me faster than supermodels with famous footballers for boyfriends would, namely distance too small, auto rickshaw walla won’t get any passenger on his way back, the passenger has a penis, auto rickshaw walla is an asshole, etc. Also, thanks to everyone fucking there are too many people and thus too many potential customers so these guys can treat us like citizens of a third world nation (read: dirt) and get away with it. Auto rickshaw wallas are the new Union Carbide. Everyday, I search for an empty rickshaw and ask “Will you go to workplace?” The punk doesn’t even look at me. He’ll look into oblivion like he’s on the brink of stumbling upon another kinematic equation that everyone else missed and he’ll nod his head in the negative. Too good to look at me, you condescending asshole? People will think lowly of you if you talk to me? He’ll probably go and tell his rickshaw buddies about me and laugh while sipping their special cutting chai. “He thought I would take him in my rickshaw for such a short distance! Yeah right! What next give him a blow job? and guess what? He had a penis… many LoLs. “
Someone needs to tell these guys to take their three wheeler rat-ta-tat shit mobile and shove it because I’ve had it. I never complained about their pathetic taste in music. I’ve never felt that it’s their duty to take me to any destination that I wished to go. But this is fucking ridiculous! For an entire week I’ve been walking, with either rain clouds looming right above my head like vultures about to piss all over my happiness or the sun turning me into a shade that can be best described as charcoal which is why I’ve decided to completely boycott rickshaws. Since I’m sure as fuck not the only person who’s had it with their shitty service, their boob focusing rear view mirror and their random pointless strikes that leave you as helpless as an armless horny guy, I’m keeping the boycott rickshaws campaign open for anyone who wishes to join.
Technically, boycotting of rickshaws is for men. Women get rickshaws easily as long as they are attractive… the sole purpose of a woman. Rickshaw wallas have a soft spot for women which proceeds to get harder with false hopes of repayment in kind for transportation that was generously given. But all hopes and recently hardened body parts come a crashing when they hear that dreadful word – Bhaiyya (brother). Important rule of life - you want to ride her because you gave her a ride? Then you better have a minimum of four wheels, a vehicle which is preferably not of black and yellow in color and if you drive by profession it better be a sport. Also, if women boycott rickshaws they’ll have to walk which they can’t because they are weak. For those who disagree to the previous fact here’s some logical proof - if they were not weak why would they have a reservation of seats in BEST buses and in schools and colleges. Reservation is for whimps. Can’t make it on your own, get the fuck out! Nonetheless, since I’m in a non-discriminating mood, I’m going to let women join this campaign but you are disqualified from bitching and moaning about how your legs hurt since you have to walk.
Now, the major question with the 'boycott auto rickshaws' campaign is -
“Hey Leo, if we boycott rickshaws how are we going to travel?”
My first answer was horse carts. But PETA decided to ruin everything. PETA doesn’t want horses to pull horse carts. Here’s a questions, if horses don’t pull horse carts who’s going to pull them? And if you remove horses from horse carts you’ll have only carts left. That’s like a computer without a processor, dumbass. The damn thing is not going to pull itself. I don’t get why nature lovers should be against horses pulling carts. It’s better than cars. It doesn’t pollute the environment. It shows man and nature working in tandem. And horses don’t go on random city crippling strikes for an increase in fare charges. The do sprout a huge boner now and then but who doesn’t like boners! And every holy man from across religions has ridden horses. God wants horses to be ridden which he why he made them quadrupeds and he made us into fat slobs of slow moving laziness. Refusing to ride a horse is blasphemy. PETA WORSHIPS SATAN.
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Posts: 29
Reply #34 on : Fri June 18, 2010, 14:17:10