The 'I'm hungry, give me media attention and satisfy my needs' idea of Chandrashekar Rao has changed the face of India (see picture). The ‘non violent’ hunger strike has led to multiple incidents. This article is a summary of those incidents.
The first incident was 5 year old Bittu claiming that the tactic used by Chandrashekar Rao has been patented by him. Bittu claims he has been going on hunger strikes to get his wishes granted ever since he can remember. Be it toys or attention Bittu has always gotten his wishes fulfilled. He says, a juvenile act like this has to be by a juvenile and thus Chandrashekar Rao act is an act of intellectual stealing and copyright infringement. After watching the entire Telangana saga Bittu was aghast. He said, “This felt like a Déjà vu”. I quickly contacted my lawyer and I’m hoping for positive results.
Bittu was found mysteriously dead a few days later. Police officers at the scene of crime, who were busy destroying evidence, took a little time out to discuss the case.
Police officer under anonymity (see picture): It’s an accident.
Leo: How can it be an accident? He has been shot in the head three times.
Police officer: Maybe he was casually walking and he accidentally came under the line of fire. It’s a case of physics, probability and facts. I’m sorry this doesn’t come under our jurisdiction…. Since you are so skeptical why don’t you start walking and I start shooting. We can check if the bullets hit you ‘accidentally’
Leo: Hmm… It’s okay.
Police officer: Anyways, he’s just a middle class kid not the son of a famous person. These things happen. Also, we shouldn’t worry about the past. We need to worry about the future… like your future.
Leo: Thank you this interview is over.
Quickly following on the footsteps of the copyright infringement case filed by Bittu, Bappi Lehari and Anu Malik both made press releases. They said, “We haven’t committed any copyright infringement.” In regards to this an interview was arranged with the two.
Leo: Why did the two of you make the press release?
Anu Malik: People regularly accuse us of copyright violation. Therefore, to be on the safer side we decide to deny all charges before hand. Prevention is better than cure you see.
Bappi Lehari: … When it comes to copyright violation we are the butt of all jokes. We decided to side step it this time.
Leo (Pointing at a stack of CDs): What’s that?
Bappi Lehari: Those are albums of few Koren musicians. Real good stuff!
Leo: Wow! Can I listen to them?
Anu Malik: Don’t worry you’ll get to hear them soon. We are releasing a couple of albums. The thing is we Indians won’t be able to enjoy them in a foreign language so we’re making them in Hindi. Don’t worry we won’t be giving them any credit!
Leo: Nice. I’m out of here!
The third incident involved the celeb wannabes. With the 'desperately seeking news' “NEWS” channels granting high coverage to this "non violent" act, the 'desperately seeking attention' celebs/ celeb wannabes have been decided to cash in on this. The highly intellectual and original Rakhi Sawant has formulated the idea of a hit TV show. Rakhi Sawant fans can dance with delight while the rest can commit suicide since "Rakhi ka Bhook Hartal" is gonna hit TV soon. The tagline of the show will be ‘From media hungry to plain hungry’. The show’s plot is pretty simple. Rakhi will tour India to find a suitable place to start her bhook hartal. The locals of the visited region will approach her with ideas for the agenda of her bhook hartal. Obviously on finalizing the agenda and location she won't actually go on a hunger strike. Max to max she may skip her breakfast but that’s just to stay in shape (whatever shape that is). Ovaries across the country will feel cheated while testicles across the country will rejoice at the termination of another pathetic television show.
Another television channel has decided to plagiarize the script. The 'star' of the show was purported to be KRK but since he's been busy hobnobbing with Barack Obama and Queen Elizabeth Sheryl Chopra has been contacted for the show. She has suggested doing the hunger strike in skimpy outfits. On contacting her, she's accepted all allegations and even agreed to an interview.
Leo : What are your views on the copied script adorned with skimpy outfits?
Sheryl Chopra: Indians are not stupid okay. If we copy and create movie or TV show directly people will come to know. When we add sleaze, it confuses people and people think it’s an original idea. Also, I'm a good girl please don't talk about hard-ons.
Leo: I meant adorned....
Sheryl Chopra: I know it's hardened. I can see it. (She winks)
Leo: Okay! Let’s get back to the interview! Are you justifying plagiarism?
Sheryl Chopra: I'm sorry I haven't been reading papers. When did this plague happen?
Leo: Jesus! Do you mind if we conduct this interview in Hindi?
Sheryl Chopra: Oh! You can't speak in English! It's okay. Nothing to be ashamed off.
Leo: How about we end the interview here?
Sheryl Chopra: Okay. I'm busy anyways... How about an autograph?"
(I signed on a piece of paper and gave it to her. Didn’t know she was a fan.)
PS: “Countless people across India die of starvation. Frankly no one gives a fuck about them. Suddenly you have a 'famous', politically motivated person who decides to starve himself - willingly - and voila!”
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Posts: 5
Reply #7 on : Sun January 10, 2010, 23:19:03