Every time I look at Gandhi on a currency note, he’s looking to the left and smiling. Why? What’s on the left? And why smile? What’s he so happy about? Is it because he’s on every currency note? How come in an immensely populated country we have only one guy on our currency? Where is the equal opportunity? Why can’t Jiten Bhai be on a currency note? Or maybe me? How many hours do I have to stay hungry to be on those pieces of paper? When it comes down to it that is exactly what Gandhi did. The British colonists started beating up people, Gandhi sat down somewhere and decided not to eat. I bet that must have scared the shit out of every British colonist. Oh here comes Gandhi! OMFG he’s sitting down and he has an empty plate with him! HOLY SHIT HE’S GOING TO STARVE HIMSELF! I’m so scared! Let me dig a hole into a ground so that I can bury my head in fear! I’m never coming to India again!
Bullshit! Isn’t that what kids do? Throwing tantrums and threatening to stay hungry when they don’t get what they want? And when did people staying hungry get something done? If that was the case wouldn’t people give a fuck about our villagers? Hunger strikes are stupid. The next time someone goes on a hunger strike, I’m going to sit next to him and eat twice my intake to negate him and piss him off. Some guy willingly staying hungry is a slap on the face of everyone else who has to slog through college, struggle to get a job and then work an 8 hours shift so that he can have something good to eat and when he finally comes home for rest and turns on his Television he’s forced to find some guy getting coverage because he refuses to eat. Want to go on a hunger strike? Boo Hoo! Nobody gives a damn!
I know Gandhi did it for freedom but if it weren’t for the Brits you know how hard it would be to join a call center without a head start in English. And if it weren’t for call centers who else would people look down upon. Oh look at that loser! He didn’t do well in college and now he works in a call center and he fakes his accent! Look at me, I kissed ass through college, copied assignments, never wrote a mother fucking program in my life because I was friends with someone who did everything on time and was nice enough to give me all the programs along with the printouts so that I could submit it before everyone else and act like I did every fucking thing on my own. Now, I work for some cock sucking company, where with my practice in kissing ass I’m raking in thousands. I’m just prostituting my egoless existence but that doesn’t matter because I’m not slogging my ass out in a stressful call center job. I’M BETTER THAN YOU.
PS: Since this was a highly cynical article, I want to end it on a positive note to appeal to a larger audience. Ready? Cool! I’m really happy Gandhi wasn’t born during this age and time. Considering our impressionable, ‘future of the nation’, lecture bunking, Pepsi drinking dipshits (by the way fuck Youngistan, fuck the youth and fuck everything in between) everyone would be aping his dressing style to look cool. I mean who in their right mind wants to see an old, balding, Gujarati male with bare minimum clothing? If I had to deal with the youth dressing up like that, I would be really happy being a farmer in a godforsaken village so that come monsoon when it doesn’t rain and all my crops are ruined I’ll have a good enough reason to kill myself. Okay, that wasn’t very positive but then again I’d rather be dead than write an article for the sole purpose of appealing to a large audience.
Facebook
Twitter
Reddit
Stumble
Digg
Posts: 24
Reply #25 on : Fri October 01, 2010, 23:23:12