Like India, Pakistan too has been a big player in the Service
Industry -- with Terrorists being the major export. Countries like the
United States of America, United Kingdom and India will willingly bear
testimonials to the qualities possessed by these fine young men. They
are undoubtedly goal oriented, can work well in a team and are equally,
if not more, focused than our very own Arjun of the ‘parrot and eye’
fame. The terrorists are successfully plying their trade all over the
world. This has laid to rest any question about their adaptability and
These are difficult times. The global liquidity crunch has taken its toll on the expansion plans of most of the organizations. Hiring is at an all time low. Any news related to job cuts and bankruptcy has become as surprising as ramp walks and wardrobe malfunctions. The global sentiments have indeed become negative. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Pakistan has indeed found a novel solution to its soaring unemployment problem. It has opened a whole new vista for recruitment by organizing the ‘suicide bombing’ sector. A recent news clipping showed that the hiring process is in full swing and the youth of the nation can once again see a bright and prosperous -- although short lived -- future. In fact the Pakistani economy is outperforming the US and entire Europe with this out of the box approach which has economists all over the world baffled. Noted Pakistani economist Afzal Ashfaq Ahmed who requested anonymity pointed out how this radical approach not only provides the much needed employment but also saves the corporates a lot of money as majority of the employees do not qualify for Pension, PF apart from being absent for the festive bonuses. Afzal Ashfaq Ahmed Ansari an applicant for the LeT ‘fidayeen squad’ which has branches in seven different countries was optimism personified on being presented a chance at gaining employment. Although very positive about his chances, he feigned modesty by claiming that everyone had an equal chance with all the candidates being equally illiterate, brainwashed and bored of life. When asked what he would do with the seventy-two Sodexho coupons promised at the completion of the assignment, he was very clear that since throughout his lifetime he was deprived of a wholesome and sumptuous meal he would satiate himself with all that he could find within the allotted number of coupons.
It is time India braces itself for the Pakistani juggernaut. An unconfirmed report has it that the Pakistani government has decided to diversify the suicide bombing sector by forming a JV with Standard Fireworks of India. If the plans fall into action it will not be long before we see a Pakistani wrapped in a gunny bag and being sold at the local firework stalls during Diwali or one being used in lieu of dynamite at the stone quarry or at a demolition. In an interview with PTV, Pakistani Home Minister Afzal Ashfaq Ahmed Ansari Abdullah claimed that “For years we have tried to compete with India in Banking, Entertainment, IT, Defence, Production……and have failed miserably. We’ve now realized that we were wrong to follow their example and not play to our own strengths. We Pakistanis have a very dynamic and out-going personality and the suicide bombing sector caters to it. But now the time has come for us to rise to the pinnacle and rightly claim what is ours. By 2012 Pakistan will be the richest nation of 50 people to have ever existed” He later retracted his statement. The Indian Authorities were unavailable for comments.
Big Fish News.