
Ali in Wonderland……..Well Almost Accept or deny it, recession is upon us, in a big way. Right from the billion dollar companies to your nearby chai waala (not including the one who became a millionaire), everyone has been hit by the economic slowdown. The worst hit is the unemployed youth, who despite having all the right degrees is still unable to find a suitable job. Here are excerpts from one such interview conducted by our foreign correspondent Mr. Charkha Butt. On the receiving end is Mr. Ali - an ambitious young man from our very own ‘friendly neighborhood state’ of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan.
CHARKHA:	So, Mr. what is your qualification?
ALI:	I have been trained in using all kinds of bombs and guns from the time I was 10.
CHARKHA:	…………which gives you an edge in which sector of the industry?
ALI:	Of course, Pakistan’s highest grossing sector, terrorism.
CHARKHA:	Hmm, so what are you complaining about?
ALI:	Well, 10 years back, it was touted as the next-big-thing after the dot com boom, and prospects were exciting. I still remember after the 9/11 attacks, I spent 3 sleepless nights with the buzz following the event.
CHARKHA:	Oh yeah, it was a real tragedy, many couldn’t sleep, the young were especially traumatized!
ALI:	Huh, what are you talking about? After the attacks I could not stop dreaming about the day when I become a suicide bomber and get one step closer to having fun with all the 72 virgins in paradise.
CHARKHA:	Is that the reason why you wanted to be a suicide bomber in the first place, the virgins in heaven?
ALI:	Duh!!! Do you think I want to live a miserable life like you losers, having boring 9-5 job and living with a family, when I could be enjoying in paradise? (Pauses)But now, things have changed, as per the latest circular from Al-Qaeda, cost cutting is the word, and paradise has cut down on virgins from 72 to a mere 7, that too subject to availability.
CHARKHA:	That’s really sad! Can you enlighten us a bit more on the current scenario?
ALI:	Well, the situation is really grave, jobs are few and lay-offs are on rise. My brother just got laid off from LeT for pronouncing bomb as "bum". I mean being a Pakistani, what kind of English do you expect from us? They have even started cost cutting on the weapons, after years of training on AK-47, now they say they can’t afford them and have started using desi ghodas. (Almost cries)
CHARKHA:	Hmm… but I’m sure that with age on your side you can still earn a living?
ALI:	(Gets angry) Do you think I can let go of my dreams just like that. Do you want me to chicken out like many of my friends and switch to stable jobs like smuggling and stealing? I just can’t let go of my dreams…and I will not. There are a few start-up terrorist groups, which I can join, although they hardly offer 2-3 virgins, but at least I will realize my dream.
After this tear-jerking encounter, Ms. Charkha Butt has been in a state of depression. So, we won’t be seeing much of her for a while.