Well, what I have planned for this review is rather than reviewing crap from the present day, I will review the Classic Rock Era.
Yeah, Yeah I know, "the oldies"!! Most people die to hear it and these people are mostly uncles who keep reminiscing about the days when they were young. Before you brand me an uncle, let me assure you that I am 23 years old. I love the classics because I feel that during that age, music was made from the heart and did not have that much corporate bullshit like today.
Rock and roll music was born with the African-Americans being the frontrunners in the scene. It’s weird when you think that the rock scene today is completely dominated by the White people and the Afro-Americans stick to Rap - which is just plain fucked up. Rapping about your issues is one thing, but then rap topics include fucking lots of bitches, shooting cops, pimping etc.etc…It’s like people are devolving. I swear there are songs where one homie tells the other that he has more bling than the other guy and stuff. Anyways, the artists to hear from this era are:
Chuck Berry - American guitarist, song writer and singer; considered to be one of the pioneers of rock and roll music. Was thrown in jail for eloping with a minor!
Little Richard - Was and is a pompous God-fearing prick but has nice songs. Influenced artists like Bob Dylan, Mick Jagger, Jimi Hendrix to say the least.
Elvis Presley – If you haven’t heard of Elvis Presley then I hope your cave was warm and cozy. I am sure most of you will like his songs once you get over the ridiculous costume. Not all those mushy love songs. Listen to the serious ones.
This is when rock music really began with The Beatles and Rolling Stones battling it out to be the best bands of their time. Undoubtedly the most colourful era in rock music when good music was created, fuelled by a delightful mix of sex and hallucinogens. It is true that the drug abuse claimed a few lives but at least the music had some soul. Anyways the artists to watch are:
Jimi "GOD" Hendrix - The most stoned mothafucker ever and also guitarist extraordinaire! His on-stage antics and mesmerizing riffs probably make him the most talked about dead musician even today.
The Beatles - Avoid the mushy songs and listen to the psychedelic ones. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band is widely regarded as a classic and one of the early examples of a concept album. For more there are about 35,100,000 pages you can view by running a google search for The Beatles.
The Rolling Stones - The only band from the 60's to fill stadiums even today. I think they take something on the lines of "vitaminsex" tablets from the movie "Gunda".
There are many other artists... but I don’t want to add anymore. For the rest there is Wikipedia!
My favorite decade!!!! So many bands, so many groupies, so much cocaine!!Heavy metal was born in this decade and the sound got harder and harder. Bands to listen include:
Led Zeppelin - Undisputed Gods of rock. The band behind what most people consider to be the greatest rock song ever – Stairway to heaven. Also extremely horny bastards! Apparently they made a groupie cum multiple times with a shark's snout. FREAKS!!
The Who - The most eclectic band of their time. They invented the art of guitar bashing on stage. And you thought Kurt Cobain was original!!
Black Sabbath – They were called "The Antichrists" of their day. Now we come to know that they didn’t believe in god or the devil but were just using metaphors to reflect the real state of the world and stuff. Tell that to the millions of actual devil worshipping bands that have sprung up and cite Black Sabbath as their influence!
The Doors - More close to being poets than musicians; they held the psychedelic edge in the 70’s.Women lusted for Morrison and several even pine for him today. This includes certain men also!! Sannata miyan!! Listening?? My favourite songs are Riders on the storm, Love you madly, Roadhouse Blues..... Morrison was another musician to die of an overdose at age 27.
Pink Floyd - Purveyors of space-rock!! That’s what their music was called. Their music was a pleasant mix of cosmic symphony, over the edge solos and amazing keyboard work. They cast a spell over hundreds of students of their time and come to think of it, they still do!!! I don’t know if you have noticed, but the engineering students listen to a whole lot of Pink Floyd, especially when they find out that they are doomed after the 1st semester.
For the rest there is Wikipedia!
The gay era in rock and roll! Make up, perms and all the usual beauty products your sister or girlfriend might use, were used by the men. Fucking retards!!
Twisted Sister - The frontman claims the girly image was just a passing phase and that he is extremely macho and stuff. Bullshit!!! Check out their videos and decide his manhood for yourself.
Motley Crue - Similar girly band except that it had drummer Tommy Lee. Tommy Lee is the biggest idiot on the planet. Apparently he had tattooed Pamela's name on his penis (dude!! painful). And then she broke up with him. She changed the tattoo she had made on her body and our man was left in the lurch because it was just too painful to erase his.
Pantera - Good heavy metal band but had the same ‘girly look’ roots. Non-believers can check the internet for their early pics.
Metallica - Claimed to be the best metal band in the world. They started out in the 80’s playing garage rock. They had a handful of good albums but were not mainstream yet. That would happen later in the 90’s. I don’t have to tell you what songs to listen. The moment someone gets into college, he starts listening to Metallica. Though some songs are really good, it is considered to be acquired taste for many!! In conclusion, wannabes know all Metallica songs beforehand, if not the tunes then at least the song-titles!
With this I have killed enough time since I had nothing to do. Good Bye and I will see you next issue with another article about how Pseudo-rockers gatecrash Rock shows and dance "the Dandiya" there.