Now if there is one thing I hate more than extremists, it is MEN who like OTHER MEN – not speaking platonically. Faggots are an abomination and reason enough for another Jew sized holocaust. Although if the power to initiate another “cleansing ritual” depended upon my able judgment, our very own Page3People (P3P) would be a few paces ahead of the men-eaters. But let us not digress. I know using the term fag may be wrong but then again so is shoving your dick up your buddy’s rectum. If that does not bother our homosexual friends let us not make believe anything I say will.
Now there are a lot of queers out there who subtly or vehemently exude homosexuality. We at Big Fish have taken it upon ourselves to list a few noticeable ones so that our readers can exercise caution and take preventive measures when in the vicinity of such distinguished individuals. Since this is a serious issue we have used carefully recreated illustrations to drive home the point.
Exhibit A:
A grown up man who prefers a thermometer up his rectum - instead of the commonly opted oral orifice.
Few ignorant folks might argue that this by no means is proof of
homosexual behavior but I scream to differ. As far as I am concerned
the guy might just as well roam around in his purple spandex suit
humming a George Michael song and holding a placard which states Love
Cock in bold. Remember a thermometer today is virtually a penis
tomorrow.
Exhibit B:
Three Guys sharing a bike.
India is a country where an entire extended family travels comfortably on a Bajaj Chetak and still finds room for one more. So three guys riding a motorbike might seem innocuous. The fiends take advantage of the sheer ignorance and steal a few unnoticed moments with the loved ones. So remember, the next time such a troika zooms past you, the motorbike is not the only thing you need to look out for. Abhishek Bachchan and Uday Chopra of the Dhoom 2 fame closely fit the bill.
Exhibit C:
Men who like to stick together in the train coaches.
This is basically an extension of the previous case. The rationale behind the train-coach-orgy is:
Ek, ek se bhale do; *music*
Do, do se bhale teen; *dance*
And finally: teen, teen se bhale teen sau *orgy*.
Modified form of the lyrics from the legendary movie: Amar, Akbar, Anthony.
The
train coaches are easily packed with three hundred men per coach during
the peak hours and are a homosexual’s delight - with men coming in all
possible age and sizes. To put things into perspective this is probably
Shangri-La ten times over.
Exhibit D:
Men who delightfully use the urinals adjacent to you when all the other ones are unoccupied.
This is a major problem in malls and movie theatres. I have
no fucking clue as to why the partitions between the urinals are so
damned small! Agreed Indian men are not the most endowed in the world,
but why can’t the management find an alternative way to implement
cost-cutting measures? This is one place where you can find the
peeping-Tom/Dick and Harry to be the most active.
At this
moment we’ll take a break of the literary type.
All the views expressed
in the article (especially the one about Indian men not being
well-endowed) are the writer’s own and the magazine does not subscribe
to them in its entirety. Any resemblance to any person living or dead
implies what this article has been trying to establish. But Life is all
about choices and Faggot’s have a right to lead a normal life too
(preferably in Sudan/Zimbabwe). If Afghani men feel left out it is
because fucking goats does not fall under homosexuality, it’s more
along the lines of bestiality which shall be covered in one of our
future issues. Ditto for Sheikhs and Camels. So hold on to your terror
threats until Issue # 5 is out.
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Posts: 8
Reply #8 on : Thu May 21, 2009, 23:26:25