"After the BMC has started killing stray dogs, it has been observed that their population has increased".
This quote of abominable genius I came across while I was reading a
newspaper. We have all heard stupid quotes but this one deserves to go
down the anal...oops, the annals of history.
I pondered over this issue hoping to find a solution and pass my crapping time. I came across the following scenarios.
Case 1:
You have 3 stones. You take one away. Number of stones left = 2. Now
you won't need calculus to prove that 2<3. But let’s not forget that
stones don't have genitals and cannot indulge in public coitus. Thus
dogs and stones are different.
After overcoming the hurdle of
case 1, I realized that stray dogs are complex creatures. Genitals and
public coitus had to be added to the equation. A vast number of
scenarios rush into my head with a rush of toxins leaving my body
(Remember, it’s crap time!). Shit goes out, ideas come in! I guess
constipation has been clogging evolution.
Casting case 1 aside let’s get into more complex cases.
Case 2:
Apocalypse Predicament: The world is going to end in a day. What are
you going to do? I'm sure you won't be studying for tomorrow’s paper or
watching TV. You'll be out on the streets fucking like dogs! Now dogs
are smart creatures. Maybe, just maybe they are able to figure out that
they are going to die soon. Now that the dog knows he’s going to die,
what do you think he’s going to do? Fuck like the proverbial dog! Thus
the ‘to be killed dog’ would leave behind 6 x (x is number of bitches
he is likely to come across) puppies. Population increased!
Case 3: Alpha Male Issue: An alpha male is one who gets
to have coitus with all the bitches (some dogs get to have all the
fun). If this alpha male is impotent there won't be any population
growth. If this alpha male was killed, the non-alpha males are going to
have a celebratory public-orgy. Thus one ‘dead/ impotent alpha male
dog’ could lead to 6 x (number of bitches taking part in the orgy)
puppies! Exponential increase in population!
Case 4:
Firang Fetish: With a couple of dogs killed, the balance would be
disturbed. A few stray bitches might migrate. If a stray bitch from a
different territory enters another stray dog’s territory, he sure as
hell isn't going to wait for the mating season and pass on a chance of
coitus. Just like we have a lust for firangs, ditto the case with stray
dogs. Thus 4 or more dogs killed leads to 6 puppies. This may not
necessarily lead to an increase in population.
Case 5:
Extremist Annexes: Just as in Case 4 when the balance is disrupted, a
few extremist dogs may decide to take advantage of the situation and
capture the adjacent territory. 'Why?' you ask. Maybe the extremists
wanted to piss in a certain location which was in the adjacent
territory. Maybe they wanted the oil wells. Maybe it was just plain
firang fetish. In this case, the population doesn't actually increase
but the number of dogs may just seem large due to the combination of
dogs from different territories.
Eureka!!! I’ve covered all the potential cases possible.
The end and flush.
Facebook
Twitter
Reddit
Stumble
Digg
Posts: 8
Reply #8 on : Fri May 22, 2009, 04:42:55