1)Teenage girls who come to the movies with their Pomeranian look-alike boyfriends and then giggle and create a commotion in a bid to attract attention. In my honest opinion, we need to let loose convicted serial rapists and molesters upon such attention seeking whores. If they really want to make noise the least we can do is give them a genuine reason. Also included in this category are mothers who carry their infants to the theatres thinking that the little bugger won’t mind being holed up in a dark room for more than an hour with loud surround sound and a giant screen to keep him company. Every movie experience soiled because of such imbeciles represents a waste of my dad’s hard earned money.

2) Reality TV judges and their on screen fights. If you are ever alone at home, sitting and pondering if there is anything more fake than a hooker’s orgasm then ponder no more because reality TV judges win the competition pants down! If the producers want to give us a real fight, I suggest starving each judge for a month and then placing them in a room with one apple and a wide range of hacking and penetrating tools. Folks, empty your bladder, grab your popcorn and brace yourselves for live barbarism and some unadulterated reality TV experience once this new approach sees the light of the day.

3) Folks who find status updates very cute. Just because you sign up for a Facebook account does not imply that the whole world wants to know if you are taking a gargantuan crap which makes your anus bleed like it has been shot at by a .57 caliber pistol or if you are jerking off to a digitally enhanced image of your best pal Ranjeet. The next time you have a bout of acute attention seeking behavior try to drop dead with a pantyhose shoved in your mouth; that ought to get you enough attention to last for the next few days.  Also included in this category are retards who haven't spoken a single smart thing throughout their existence but develop a penchant for the profound through their status messages. Folks, nobody is buying into your bullshit, so just piss off!

4) Jackky Bhagnani. For those of you unaware of the enigma i.e. Jackky Bhagnani let me give a brief introduction. Jackky plays the lead role in the movie Kal Kisne Dekha which coincidentally has been financed by his father Vashu Bhagnani. The film (at best) can be described as cinematic diarrhea and is often credited with bringing the IQ level of the nation down to a paltry 50 within a single showing. Jackky plays a clairvoyant, multi instrumentalist, iron pumping scientist, which is fine because in the real world he would be 18th in line to play stale dog-poop. If Jackky were my son and came to me with the hideous plan of financing his maiden attempt at stardom, I would pack his bags and send him to a bidi making workshop at Saki Naka but I guess daddy Vashu was too pussy to take the right step.  I hope the Rs 1300/- he made from the ticket and movie rights sales knocks some sense into him.

5) Indian men and women who dye their hair BLONDE. If you seriously think that the general populace cannot differentiate between a blonde and its Indian variant, then I guess it is about time someone excavated your brains from your ass. Pramila Anderson and Brajesh Pitt are nothing but an abomination and reason enough to legalize public lynching.