On 3rd of July, 2009 India successfully banned savitabhabi.com. Even though menial problems like poverty, hunger and my perpetual unemployment persisted, I really felt that things had changed for the better. The sun shone brightly and fewer erections were observed throughout the country. Keyboards of horny men across the country welcomed the fresh change of tears upon them, which helped to wash away the deposits of other bodily fluids accumulated over time.
Women across the country also felt safer. Just two weeks after the ban, a woman was stripped and beaten on a busy street, with policemen behaving as silent spectators. If you are worried whether justice was served or not, you can breathe a sigh of relief. The policemen who enjoyed the show were given the strictest punishment possible: they were demoted.
If you’re wondering ‘What’s wrong with the site?’ The site destroyed years of hard work India put into protecting the dignity of females. Don’t believe me? Lemme give you a quick history tour.
Sati: The burning of the female on her husband’s death. This was to make the widow wouldn’t remain lonely and go insane due to the absence of a man who would beat her and use her sexually when ever he required with or without her consent.
Female infanticide: The killing a girl child as soon as she’s born. This was so that the female child deprived of education, a social life or any right to choose would not kill herself of boredom.
Dowry: The payment in kind or money by a bride’s parents’ to the groom’s family. When you get married against your will to a complete stranger who doesn’t remotely care about you how else can you make up for this amazing favour? Pay him! I thought this was just like male prostitution but who gives a fuck about me.
All sarcasm aside, the basic problem that most of these hags had with the site was that a woman was fucking out of her own will. A cardinal sin because women shouldn’t fuck. Since no one said that the comics were degrading for men it can be assumed that men can fuck. Women can’t. I can’t figure this contradiction out. I guess it means that men can fuck other men, animals or pillows but not women and yet reproduce. Fuck all this! I say,
Make the world a better place.
LET WOMEN FUCK!
Since I’m a man of logic (or so I’ll delude you into believing) I’ll give you reasons to support my bold statement. Fallacious reasons which make sense.
Rape: Contrary to popular believe no man refuses sex… ever! Rejoice ye ugly women! So to rape a guy you must be gay. Now, gay guys can’t rape! They are too fruity. Try to imagine a guy in pink completely waxed trying to rape another guy. It’s not possible which means only women get raped. If you can get raped why not fuck out of your will? Three cheers for Professor Leo!
Periods: Women bleed for 5 days at regular intervals. I have no idea how a period feels but I’m pretty sure that blood and genitals put in the same sentence amounts to one painful experience. To make matters worse they know that they are going to have their periods again and then again. This is the male equivalent of having a bully whack you in the balls at the end of every month. Can you imagine the wait, the horror! If I bleed for 5days, I’d fuck every other day!
Multiple orgasms: If you think women shouldn’t have sex then you think that God made a mistake. This is clearly a sign that even God wants women to have sex. Not having sex after being gifted with multiple orgasms is like drinking mineral water at an unlimited free booze party.
Breasts: Having two lobes of flesh perpetually attached to anybody’s chest isn’t pleasurable… to the owners. Breasts need an extra pair of clothing. Breasts shake when you walk which makes you conscious. Running is impossible unless you grab them and run. You can’t sleep on your stomach. You get judged for your size. Want to feel better? Get laid!
In simple terms, “Fuck and let fuck!” Remember to use condoms. I guess I’ll just set up a condom business and make millions. Mail me at leonardodapincy@gmail.com. First 100 entries will get free autographed condoms.
PS: I’d like to quote Salim Sannataa, “They banned Savitabhabhi.com and they legalized homosexuality. Now, that’s setting up a bad example”.
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Posts: 17
Reply #17 on : Sat September 05, 2009, 11:56:50