Ever wonder why stereotypes occur everywhere in India? Everyone is stereotyped from people of different states down to the people in the same state living in different districts. Even I stereotype people and I will not act ‘holier than thou’ and say that it is bad. It is a source of enjoyment. The problem is when people start taking these things seriously, not understanding that humans are one everywhere and all of them think alike. Let’s start with people of different states.
1]Keralites or The Mallus
The Mallus are supposed to be uber smart “padaku keedas” with 100% literacy.
Well, they have a communist government and some are ardent fans of Saddam -- to the the extent that they name beaches after him. There is a beach in Kerala named Saddam beach and I kid you not!! What do Commies and Saddam have in common have in common?? Fuck knows!
The Keralites simply believe in going to Dubai. It's like their Mecca. I think every mallu dreams of goin to the Gulf. It's like they achieve nirvana there. 90% of Kerala’s exports are nurses. The outsiders are not to be blamed for believing that nursing is the only subject taught in Kerala.
2]The Gujjus
People from Modiland are really unique species. They are supposed to be cold, calculating, money-minded bastards who speak in an irritating nasal tone[fans of himesh!]]. I have endured them daily in local trains, shouting at the top of their voices into sleek phones about lame things like “mera 40,000 ka maal kidhar gaya??” I now understand the motivation behind someone inventing the earphone. It is extemely useful to block out the inane conersations of these idiots.Heaven help you if your mp3 player's battery dies on you and you are sitting between a gang of gujjus discussing Sensex, market behaviour and playing cards simultaneously.
3]The Marathis
People from the Great State also have superiority issues, a la the Nazis. Their leaders are a joke. They want preferential treatment when it comes to recruitment and believe that 'merit' is a term fabricated by rest of India to rob the deserving localite. Apparently, they think they are the chosen lot. They are responsible for awakening the debate of being Indian or regional??? They also have a passion for naming everything after Shivaji. Chattrapati Shivaji Airport, Chattrapati Shivaji Terminal and soon they will name schools, colleges, restaurants and ultimately all their children after Shivaji too. Not to mention, the proposed Chattrapati Shivaji Statue -- which will be bigger than the Statue of Liberty. I am getting tired of writing Shivaji’s name so many times....Honestly, they will spend crores on this project when Maharashtra is kinda bankrupt. Stupid pricks!
4]The Mangaloreans
The Mangaloreans are cheap misers. It is said that the only mangalorean who doesn't count his money is a dead mangalorean. A mangalorean is similar to his Keralite counterpart in the sense that he also wants to go to the gulf. By and large, their aspirations end up being mostly local in nature, i.e they end up in Bombay. They cannot hold a leaf to the mallus because of the sheer number of mallus who go to the gulf(pronounced “gelf” with emphasis on the ‘e’.)
5]The North Indians
The North Indians are depicted to be this murderous horde of law breaking people. The hardworking among them come to the metros; the rest still strive in the battlezone that is North India. Apparently there is so much corrruption and lawlessness in Bihar that people migrate enmasse to Bombay, which raised the ire of amchi junta. North India has all the problems. You name it, you got it. Right from naxalism, corruption to dacoity. The Biharis had started believing that the trains were their property since Laloo was the rail minister. They refrained from buying tickets, forced the trains to stop between stations and also made people with legitimate tickets to lend their seats to the ticketless travellers, under the pretext that everyone had a right to rest !! Their logic and rationale baffles everyone.
6]The Bengalis
Ah the intellectuals!! The people behind the cultural and commie revolution in India. They wax eloquent about how this is wrong and that is wrong and how we should do something about it, but when the turn comes to initiate something, they would rather sit at home and chill. They are far too miserly. Some extreme specimens do something new to shock me everyday in my hostel. Okay, I must admit that I thought Bengal was cool because there were so many hot Bengali actresses coming to Bollywood and I felt there might be more where they come from. I have been living in Bengal for almost a year now and I am yet to find someone who remotely looks like the hot Heroines. I think all the hot ones came to Bombay. An average Bengali youth would be seen wearing kurta-jeans, sporting a Che Guevara look and caressing a perpetual cigarette/bidi. They don’t smoke cigars. Although they would very much like to, the bengalis are inherently ‘kanjoos’. I am sure they would rather wait for the day when the CPM includes a "cigar for the masses" agenda in their manifesto. But until then, bidi it is!
7]The Goans
Their claim to fame was Goan Catholics -- and for that matter, all catholics-- portrayed as drunkards in yesteryear Bollywood flicks. Their laziness is unparalleled and there is a reason behind it. Goa is so idyllic that all you feel like doin there is chilling. Their business sense is pathetic (they shut shop for afternoon naps and call it a day at 8 in the evening). But what they lack in determination, they make up in slyness. They loot the firangs by quoting astral prizes for mundane 'artwork', and dumb firangs buy this crap.
All these things I have mentioned might be instantly recognisible in people of all states. It's like I said, humans are the same the world over.
Now you see why we stereotype. Its because we have strong cultural barriers or so called borders between each state. We have so much diversity and to those early idiotic policymakers who believed in ‘unity in diversity’, I say what utter "bull". Unity in diversity shows through only on state financed adverts on national channels that nobody watches[eg. doordarshan].
I must admit that stereotyping may be wrong and unfair, but its fun :)
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Posts: 11
Reply #11 on : Sat October 17, 2009, 16:53:03