Living in a country where you can’t be sure of traveling in a train without being blown to bits. Where politicians like to masturbate their vote banks shamelessly, only to flush them down the gutter eventually, and where a captured terrorist has attained page 3 celebrity status. You would be mistaken if you think nothing could be worse. According to a recent study conducted by anthropologist, Prof. Celina Gaytley, a leading expert on such issues and a desperate-ass ‘‘celebrity’ blogger’, there are hidden elements amongst our society that are so evil they would make Hitler piss his pants if they don’t make him bleed through his rectum. Prof. Gaytley , who was recently seen in a joyous mood after her ‘Fight for the Faggots’ campaign for gay rights ended successfully, mentions three such inconspicuously wicked things, in her elaborate study, which are more of a threat to society than all her movies combined along with her blog entries.
Such is the wrath unleashed by these evil forces and their intentions so heinously sinister it would make Satan cry like a wuss and pray, to the Lord of the heaven and with all its chicks.
These evil forces are as real as The Matrix, and guess what; they are out to get you!
Evil Force Out To Get You (E.F.O.T.G.Y) # 3: Reality Shows:
If you’ve ever felt the urge to cast your vote in the parliamentary elections through SMS, if you think ‘Big Boss’ is constantly watching you even when you’re rubbing soap on your back in the shower. You refer to your office job as a ‘Money Task’ and you feel you’re in the ‘Bottom three’ when you’re boss is firing people. If you’ve ever called the moment you reach an orgasm a ‘Grand Finale’, then chances are that this Evil Force has already got your ass big time.
We have already seen people going “I left my job to be a part of this show” or “I starved my children to death so I could pay for my trip to audition here” on the shows, and kids missing precious years of their education as they think they are undiscovered musical protégés, out of which most just end up in manic depression, some kill themselves and others grow up to become serial killers/cannibals. This has caused irreversible damage to the society and put all of us in the much feared ‘Danger Zone’.
If things continue the same way, a day is not far when every citizen of this country would be part of some reality show, and the only way to survive would be to gain ‘Immunity’ by completing ‘Tasks’ successfully or else you would be voted out, brutally ‘Eliminated’ and be eaten alive by other contestants. That is unless fools like you vote the idiot back in through a fucking ‘Wild Card Entry’, of course.
E.F.O.T.G.Y # 2: GreenPiss
Greenpiss and many other uber -‘green’ organizations have been formed with the sole aim of destroying the human race before global warming does. Greenpiss has set up offices all over the world (refer map) on the pretext of saving the environment, well, except for Africa because no one really gives a fuck about what happens there. These groups, mostly offshoots of well established evil organizations like the KKK, want to prevent countries like India and China from developing at all. It’s generally considered cool and intellectual to take up an environmental cause just like many of our dearest bollywood stars have, which only underscores the habitual behavior of celebrities to affiliate with causes they haven’t got any fucking idea about.
You are hereby warned to stay away from green activist (who are out to get you!) or to give them any donations unless you want to see all the humans in the world replaced by some evil mutant of the polar bear. Tell them to go to the U.S.A, where an obese guy’s fart has more carbon footprints than our car emissions, and whine there. And for you Greenpiss warriors : don’t tell us to switch off our lights and live forever in darkness and poverty, instead go to America and have sex with Al Gore, or have a threesome with Al Gore and a Cedar tree to make the whole thing a lot greener of course.
E.F.O.T.G.Y # 1: Hannah Cuntana
Finally down to the most notorious thing threatening our society, Hannah Cuntana, as she is known when she is dressed up as a friendly teenage pop star, belongs to the latest generation in the series of musically untalented white trash. But her evil lies in the way she controls the minds of pre-teenage girls who love her songs and movies, giving those girls enough inspiration to grow up to be real whores and get pregnant before they finish school. In India, she is wrecking real havoc where her ridiculous shows and even the God damn songs, like ‘True Sluts’ and ‘Best of both worlds’(an ode to her random bisexual behavior), are dubbed in some fucked up version of Hindi. Oh, The humanity!
Her songs are even known to contain subliminal pornographic messages when played backwards, educating little girls on how to make little sex tapes of them when they grow up.
Alright, maybe I’m going a little over board in making all this up. Ok, let me confess that the entire premise of this article and everything in it is not true and made up by me. Well, I did it all so I can make this appeal at the end.
Someone please do a favor to mankind and kill this bitch, or else put her on a fucking plane and crash her in the jungles of Africa or even make her a pop star there, yes Africa because you know, no one gives a fuck about what happens there.
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Posts: 10
Reply #10 on : Mon October 19, 2009, 23:21:42