I was in a Mall lately. I needed to take a leak (for the uninformed it means to urinate). So I went to the washroom. Unlike a public loo I didn't have to take my gas mask out to survive. What stunned me was that they have around one or more attendants who are supposed to be in the washroom and make sure that its clean. Not the luckiest people alive I bet. Anyways everything is neat and sparkling. Well if a guy is forced to stay in a washroom for his entire duty time he’s bound to keep it clean. Gas masks are really expensive and if he could afford a gas mask he wouldn't be working there. Life is full of ironies, isn't it?

I had to take a leak so I went to the urinal. Bam! Here’s where I lose respect for the mall. The partition between the urinals is like 2 inches wide and around 2 feet long. Two inches wide!! This has got to be a bloody joke! I got to thinking ‘why would someone put a human through this’.

Now let me tell you why this is a big deal.

Reason 1: Museum of Penises: A line of men standing with their pecker out in clear sight isn't the prettiest vision. It’s equivalent to a museum of penises. If such a museum existed no man would go there. The fact that we don't have one in India means it’s not the most selling idea.

Reason 2: I don’t care if you look: This is what makes men shameless. This is what leads to PDI (Public Display of Infection) a.k.a. the public ‘crotch scratchers’. It’s a free advertisement for Itch Guard but again not a pretty sight.

Reason 3: Nomadic eye: Well I'm 22 years old. I've pissed more number of times in my life than the amount of money 3 Idiots has earned in its first week. It's no more a fascinating thing so my eyes choose to wander around. Same is the case with my brothers in urinals. A proper partition has the same effect as the side blinds put on a horse.

Reason 4: Show off: Why would any man want another man to see his pecker? Unless you are hoping to find a porno director who is going may cast you in his movie, the idea is as silly as Gandhi advertising for Jockey.

In spite of such reasons these minuscule partitions were put up. I thought of multiple cases of why such hideousness was allowed.

Case 1: Benchmark of Napoleon: We all know Napoleon is famous for his minuscule penis. After looking at these partitions I really think someone was paying him a silent tribute. If Napoleon would be alive and had to relieve himself in this mall he would be completely assured of privacy. Well, Napoleon is dead and gone so is his minuscule penis. His time is over it’s my time now. Not to rule but to piss.

Case 2: Monetary Gains: If the partitions were made of Kohinoor (the diamond not the condoms), then I bet that the builder must have saved a fortune. Notice how everything public is crappy. Yet the public loos have partitions that would make it impossible to even expose Rasputin's Lil' Brother (Google at the risk of obtaining an inferiority complex).

Case 3: Lack of Information: The owner of the mall was probably a misinformed female. She must have thought "heck! Men just require a wall to piss.". If the owner of the mall is a male… damn! He’s one twisted guy!

Now that we discussed the problem we need a solution and the solution is plain and simple proper sized partitions. Frankly speaking I think the partition should be big enough to completely hide your adjacent pisser.

Urinals are the last place you’re looking to find a friend. If the person in the urinal next to you says, "Hi, want to be friends?" I'm sure you won’t be pissing there anymore.

I hope I've inspired a few folks with this article. I'm hoping there will be an NGO that will fight for this noble social cause.

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Nad
Posts: 1

Re: Urinal Problems
Reply #1 on : Sun January 24, 2010, 00:32:22

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Gandhi advertise for Jockey...Now that will SELL !!