Starring: Chopra and Chopra
Story: Uday Chopra
Rating: No Star
We’ve always catered to the B-grade movie audience and some might argue ‘WTF this is not a B-grade movie.” I agree this is a mainstream movie but if it deserved a grade it would be somewhere between Z-grade and ‘a yet to be discovered alphabet’-grade.
Firstly, there have been many great writers. Uday Chopra isn’t one of them. All writing material such as pencils, pens and keyboards should be confiscated from him. In fact here’s a list of writers who can do a better work than Uday:
- An unborn baby.
- A man in coma.
- A stone.
- A fossil of a dinosaur.
- A tree.
Secondly, I want to point out all the gaping plot holes in this movie.
1. The movie was given a PG certificate. Clearly this is a devilish plan to get parent’s to watch the movie as well. This movie should have the following certification – ‘Not suitable for adults, children, unborn babies, amoebas and extra-terrestrial life forms’. The extra terrestrial life forms part is very important because if aliens were to watch this movie they would never talk to us and I mean never!
2. The character of Uday Chopra claims he can’t have a girl because he’s a nerd/geek. I’m sorry, he can’t have a girl because he is Uday Chopra and here’s a list of objects that are more attractive than Uday Chopra:
- A pen.
- A pair of worn out slippers.
- A dead rat.
- My toothbrush.
- A tree.
3. Uday Chopra develops an operating system. This is the biggest plot hole. No living or non-living creature can imagine Uday Chopra to be a developer of an operating system. Want a list of convincing objects that have a better chance at developing an operating system:
- A broken watch.
- The debris from a fallen building.
- A strand of horse hair.
- A gift-wrapped book.
- A tree.
4. Uday Chopra falling in love with Priyanka Chopra thus implicitly claiming that Priyanka Chopra is hot. Here’s a list of things that are hotter than Priyanka Chopra:
- Absolute Zero (-273.15 Degree Celsius).
- Antarctica.
- The inside of a cold storage unit.
- My fully air conditioned room.
- You guessed it! A tree.
5. The rolling credits were not given much emphasis. In fact the rolling credits were the high point of the movie coming second only to the ‘The End’ scene. Watching names go by and finally watching the ‘The End’ scene was a joy of orgasmic proportions
Disclaimer: I’ve not watched this movie for obvious reasons. For those who believe I have no right to rant about a movie I’ve not seen, I give you the following logic. You don’t have to taste shit to know it taste bad. Ta Da! If you haven’t been blown away by my awesome logic I’m disappointed in you.
PS: For those who raised eyebrows because of the repetitive mentioning of ‘a tree’. I would like to clarify that I was just talking about a random tree and I’ve not indulged in any pre-marital or plan to indulge in a during-marital or post-marital relationship with a tree to satisfy my carnal desires.
PPS: ‘Too many cooks spoil the broth' should be changed to ‘Two Chopras spoil a movie’.
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Posts: 11
Reply #7 on : Mon January 25, 2010, 06:18:42